Tiptoeing and Whispering through Taber

welcometotaber

 

An outrageous new bylaw has recently been passed in the town of Taber, Alberta. Taber Law

This law prohibits spitting (and other bodily fluid disposal) in public areas. If caught, it’s $75 a spit; other bodily fluids are more costly. Yelling  and, dammit, swearing are also prohibited; even whispering a ‘swear’ can net you up to a $250 fine. Further, this bylaw states that no more than three people may assemble together at any one time (guess that cancels their annual corn festival; may lead to rabble-rousing). There’s also provision for noise with no noise allowed between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.. This noise bylaw includes the operation of a motor vehicle and, from my reading of that section, offers no noise exemption for emergency vehicles;if you live in Taber, better hope your house doesn’t start on fire in the middle of the night; the fire truck won’t be able to deploy their emergency sirens to get to your house.   Of course, with this new bylaw, streets will be empty at night, and no siren will be necessary.

Welcome to Taber, the new  Bomont, Georgia (the fictitious town in the movie “Footloose” ). In this town, however, unlike Bomont, not even Kevin Bacon can save you.