Now That’s Ironic

irony meter

 

Since last spring, I’ve been on a journey to try and improve my health by eating better,  and exercising more often.  Fifty percent of my diet is now fruits and vegetables, with protein and grainy carbohydrates rounding out the rest.  As a result, I’ve lost 30 pounds.

My quality of sleep improved in 2013 when I started using a CPAP machine for sleep apnea.

I got the flu shot as I do every year.

I have never had a sicker winter.  It’s been one virus after another. I am now on my third virus (head cold, mostly in my ears). My immune system clearly sucks.

Irony, you are a bitch.

Behind the Lens

Why I do what I do:

 

Sugar Beach, Maui, C. KS Dueck
Sugar Beach, Maui, taken by Far From Fundie

Behind the lens

or holding a pen,

my pain disappears,

it seems to end.

 

The focus required

for both to take flight

robs my illness of power

it seems to take flight.

 

Such creative endeavors

I forget I’m not

the girl without illness

the girl who’s fraught.

 

A sick chick no more

as I walk through that door

‘cuz a creative i.d.

has a hold of me.

*Research has shown healthy distractions such as hobbies help those with chronic pain and other chronic illnesses.

RIP Terry Prachett

highwoodmeadows2

The very quotable Terry Prachett, author of over 70 books, has died at the age of 66. Diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in 2007, he was  a champion for greater awareness of Alzheimer’s disease and did a documentary for the BBC chronicling his condition. Herewith some of my favorite Terry Prachett quotes:

I’ll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there’s evidence of any thinking going on inside it.

Give a man a fire and he’s warm for the day. But set fire to him and he’s warm for the rest of his life.

Age and wisdom don’t necessarily go together. Some people just become stupid with more authority.

In his experience, many of the world’s greatest discoveries were made by men who would be considered mad by conventional standards. Insanity depended on your point of view, he always said, and if it was the view through your own underpants then everything looked fine.

You can’t remember the plot of the Dr Who movie because it didn’t have one, just a lot of plot holes strung together. It did have a lot of flashing lights, though.

Mind you, the Elizabethans had so many words for the female genitals that it is quite hard to speak a sentence of modern English without inadvertently mentioning at least three of them.

Tiptoeing and Whispering through Taber

welcometotaber

 

An outrageous new bylaw has recently been passed in the town of Taber, Alberta. Taber Law

This law prohibits spitting (and other bodily fluid disposal) in public areas. If caught, it’s $75 a spit; other bodily fluids are more costly. Yelling  and, dammit, swearing are also prohibited; even whispering a ‘swear’ can net you up to a $250 fine. Further, this bylaw states that no more than three people may assemble together at any one time (guess that cancels their annual corn festival; may lead to rabble-rousing). There’s also provision for noise with no noise allowed between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.. This noise bylaw includes the operation of a motor vehicle and, from my reading of that section, offers no noise exemption for emergency vehicles;if you live in Taber, better hope your house doesn’t start on fire in the middle of the night; the fire truck won’t be able to deploy their emergency sirens to get to your house.   Of course, with this new bylaw, streets will be empty at night, and no siren will be necessary.

Welcome to Taber, the new  Bomont, Georgia (the fictitious town in the movie “Footloose” ). In this town, however, unlike Bomont, not even Kevin Bacon can save you.

Amazing High Protein Breakfast Bowl

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So versatile, so good

1 kiwi, chopped

1 small banana, sliced

1/3 c. oats

1/4 – 1/3 c. milk

3/4 c. plain 0% Greek yogurt

1/2 T. each chia seeds, hemp hearts, and ground flax

(Can add 1 T. honey or other sweetener to sweeten if desired)

Slice fruit into bowl, add remainder of ingredients.  Stir and enjoy! Serves one.

 

Notes:  Any combination of fruit can be used.

Can be adapted as follows:

Gluten free oats can be used to make this gluten free.

Non dairy yogurt can be used to make this dairy free.

To make low FODMAP use lactose-free yogurt,  appropriate low FODMAP fruits  and sugar or maple syrup instead of honey.

29 grams protein.